Friday, January 29, 2010

Street Safety

I've had to yell, "Lauren, NO!" a couple of times as she was about to walk into the road. It created an adrenaline rush in me that drove me to find a way to prevent it from happening.

We take walks almost everyday in the summer. Last year, Lauren no longer wanted to ride in the stroller so she began running.  This was a perfect time for me to start teaching about road safety. Every time we came to an intersection or road crossing, we would both stop together. I first told her that cars drive in the road and they will give you a BIG owwiee. I told her the first thing we do is stop and look for cars both ways. Then we hold momma's hand and cross the street. I did this for most of the walk at each road crossing.

Then I asked her the questions. We came to an street and I asked her what is the first thing we do before we cross the street. It took her a couple of seconds, but she said, "Cars."  I asked her if there were any cars and she said no. Then I asked her what we do before we cross the street. She said, "Hold hands." We then crossed the street together.

Now, every time we come to a road crossing I ask her, "What do we do before we cross a road?" She usually says, "Hold hands." We talk about looking for cars too and we both go through the motions even if there isn't a car in sight.

What happens when she forgets to look for cars and hold hands? Well for one, I've got my eye on her so if there is a car, I'm there to swoop her up. However, if there isn't a car, I give her the benefit of the doubt that she is going to look for cars and hold hands. If she doesn't, I say, "Uh oh."  I then swoop her up and put her in the stroller and tell her that she can try walking again later.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

75% awesome and about 25% ugh

I do try to use Love and Logic parenting all the time, but sometimes I slip back into a "dictator" parenting style. You can imagine how that goes over with a strong willed independent little lady. And even sometimes when I am using Love and Logic parenting, my daughter still has a meltdown.

Life with my toddler is about 75% awesome and about 25% ugh.

I do notice life is easier and less stressful when I am using Love and Logic. My neighbor reassured me that life with my toddler will reach 90%+ awesome the more I use Love and Logic.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Getting dressed for the outdoors

My daughter likes to wear summer dresses around the house in the winter. She doesn't seem to mind that her feet are ice cold half the time. However, when we ask her to get ready to go outside on a cold winter day she now knows that warm clothes are more comfortable.

She was refusing to wear a jacket to go outside. So my husband and I decided to have her find out for herself whether a summer dress would work outdoors. We escorted her out to deck where she soon realized the summer dress wasn't going to work. She came screaming back in the house. We had to do this five or six times before she realized winter wasn't going away. (I know, bummer.)


The other day I asked her to get ready to go outside. Just as she was about to go outside she said, "I need a coat!". She ran to the closet, put on her coat and went on her merry way.

The other day I stepped onto the deck to clean the outside of the sliding glass door. My daughter came running over to me and said, "Mom, it's cold. You need a coat!"

When we are out of the house and just about to leave the grocery store, for example, I ask her if she wants to carry her coat or wear her coat. She carried her coat for a while until December and January hit and then she decided to wear her coat.

My neighbor is a Love and Logic instructor

My neighbor, Chris, is a Love and Logic Instructor. He gives presentations to schools and parent groups and does a great job! He is the one that introduced Love and Logic to me and has been helping me to grow in my understanding and use of it. If you are interested in talking to him or hiring him to do a presentation for a group, please let me know!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Chores for a Toddler

I am trying to give my two year old daughter some responsibilities around the house for the main purpose of giving her a sense of purpose and value in the family. She does focus a lot of being a big girl (so that she can ride her big girl bike and go to school, she says) so she welcomes the tasks that I give her, as long as they are on her time.

Her daily task is to put away the silverware after they are cleaned in the dishwasher. I ask her whether she wants to put the silverware away now or in 5 minutes. She has never said now. To make sure I stay true to 5 minutes, I set the kitchen timer as I continue to put away the rest of the dishes. Then when the 5 minute timer rings, I ask if she wants to use her Learning Tower or a chair to reach the silverware drawer. One day she decided to use a chair and fell. Now when I give her the choice she tells me she needs to use her Learning Tower because a chair is dangerous. After she puts away the silverware, she returns the silverware basket to the dishwasher and closes the dishwasher. Then she exclaims, "Momma! I did it!"  .

Monday, January 25, 2010

Putting away our coat and boots

You would probably agree that one of the more challenging tasks in your day is keeping your house picked up as your toddler zooms through it once every half hour. I'm finding little ways here and there to reduce the amount of toys, clothes, etc. that I do have to pick up.

One of those ways is by motivating my 2 1/2 year old daughter to pick up after herself.

I was finding that our kitchen floor was full of mud and dirt from the tiny shoes that were dragging it in the house. I was also noticing that I was picking up small winter coats and mittens and putting them away in the closet more than once a day. Using Love and Logic, I have been able to cross frequent floor cleaning and coat pickup off my list.

When we come home from an outing, before I get my daughter out of the car, I ask, "What do we do before we go in the house?" At first she responded, "What?". I gave her the option of taking her shoes off before she enters the house or taking her shoes off in the car and walking through the dirty garage. She picked taking her shoes off before entering the house. (Thank goodness for her socks.) Now when I ask, "What do we do before we go into the house?", she responds, "Take shoes off."

Then I ask her what she should do with her coat when she gets inside. I had to give her options at first, but then she started to respond, "Put the coat in the closet."

After several weeks of repeating these questions, now when we get home she removes her shoes and puts away her coat. (I even have her putting my coat away now.)

By the way, she is allowed to store her coat in the bottom of the hall closest. I don't worry about hanging it. That way when we need to get ready to go somewhere, she is able to dress herself for the outdoors.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Nap time and Bed time

My daughter started to refuse naps. However around 5pm, she was yawning and cranky. Here is what I did and it has been working for a couple of weeks. I announce to my daughter that it's nap time. Then we set a timer together for 20 minutes. The timer I have allows you to pick the sound that rings when the timer is up. My daughter picks the sound. Then before she presses "start", we review what needs to happen in the 20 minutes before bed. I ask her, "What do you need to do before you take a nap?" I have worked with her so that she now responds, "Brush teeth, go potty, put on jammies, read books." She likes to put on jammies for nap. Then she hits the timer and we both run upstairs to get ready for nap.

She sometimes dawdles, but I ask her what will happen if she spends all of her time going potty or brushing teeth. We work together to figure out that she won't have time for books. By the time she has finished brushing teeth, going potty and putting on jammies we usually have about 10 minutes left. Then she picks out her books and jumps in bed.

When the timer goes off, I have her shut off the timer, tuck her in and kiss her nigh nigh. I then ask if she wants the light on or off and the door open or closed. She usually picks light on and door open. I then ask what will happen if she gets out of bed and she responds, "Door goes shut."

Now at this time I leave the room. Sometimes she does get out of bed and which point the door goes shut. However, when the door goes shut she can play alone as long as she is quiet. Usually about an hour after solo play I go up to her room and find her tucked under her covers fast asleep. :)

Love and Logic

This is my first post on Love and Logic parenting. I've been wanting a place to discuss with other parents on their Love and Logic parenting experiences. My daughter, Lauren, is 2 1/2 years old and my son, Aiden, is 6 months old.

I was not raised with Love and Logic, but thankfully, my sister and my neighbor introduced me to Love and Logic right before my daughter was born. It didn't come naturally to me. I attended a class and read the books. I listen to the early childhood cds on my walks and in the car and talk to my neighbor, a Love and Logic instructor, at least once a week. I've made it a passion of mine to become a Love and Logic parent. I can tell you that it wasn't until recently, that the light bulb clicked in my head. I'm starting to get it!! It's my belief that to use Love and Logic, you must embrace so it becomes apart of you. That way when the situation arises with your child, you aren't scrambling to know what to do.

What is Love and Logic parenting? In my own words, its being a loving, empathetic consultant to your children so that they have the best chance of becoming confident, self-reliant, loving individuals.

My goal with this blog is to post my experiences as a Love and Logic mom. My hope is that those of you reading this who use Love and Logic will provide your experiences as well so we can learn from each other. My other hope is that I can get those of you parents unfamiliar with Love and Logic to start looking into it more.