Sunday, May 30, 2010

Visits to the Grocery Store

One of my favorite times of the week is our visit to the grocery store. Some parents will stop reading this right now with pure disagreement.  I like food and I like all the colorful food choices that the grocery store presents.

My daughter also never complains when I say it is time to go to the grocery store. It is part of her weekly routine and I work to give her a purpose while we are cruising through the aisles.

We start off our adventure in the parking lot. I grab the cart and hand Lauren the reusable grocery bags to carry. (Hey, anything I can do to promote recycling!)  While Aiden is strapped in the child seat, Lauren gets to ride in the big part of the cart until we finish with the produce aisle. (The cart gets too full then). As we walk through the produce aisle I pick up each piece of fruit or vegetable, smell in and then say it's name. I then give it to Lauren to smell and repeat the name of the food. She gets to hold the sturdy things like jicama or cantaloupe. Recently I have been shopping almost strictly organic. We review what it means to buy organic versus not organic.

Then it's time for the baby food. Lauren's chest puffs up when she, as the big sister, gets to pick out food for her baby brother. We talk about getting vegetables, fruit and meat. She goes for the food with the brightest color.

A couple of aisles later we end up in the coffee aisle. It's Lauren's job to pull the lever and watch all the coffee beans fall into the bag. Then she smells the coffee and lets Aiden's nose have a turn too.

A couple of aisles later we end up at the eggs. Lauren's job is to review the eggs in the carton for any broken ones. We've only found one broken egg ever, but boy was that fun when we did. We put the broken egg carton in the grocery cart and took it up to the cashier. Lauren had the job of handing it to the cashier.

After the eggs we head to yogurt. While mom is picking out her favorite yogurt, Lauren gets free reign to pick 10 different yogurts and throw then into the cart. This becomes her favorite snack during the week.

We end the shopping trip in Lauren's favorite aisle, the pinata aisle. Our grocery store has a Hispanic aisle with pinatas hanging overhead. I hinted that we would get a pinata for her birthday. She has had her birthday pinata selected for months. I get a weekly reminder.

At checkout, Lauren's job is to hand the cashier the reusable grocery bags. Then yes, I finally let the child rest and sometimes snack on one of our purchases.

This routine keeps my daughter occupied throughout the whole shopping trip and I hope she learns a little along the way.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Love and Logic: Fixing the Problem

Today my husband invited my daughter outside for some daddy daughter time. He is helping her to develop a passion for cars by allowing her to clean his car with him.

After I watched the two of them work as a team to soap up the car, Lauren had the privilege of spraying the suds away with the hose. Her little brother accidently got in the line of fire. 

So the car was just about clean when Daddy saw Lauren rounding the car while singing a little song. She was putting her own finishing touches on the car by decorating it with sidewalk chalk, the whole way around. 

I could tell my husband wanted to lose it, but he calmly took her aside and explained why he did not want her to do that. He did it softly so I couldn't hear, only Lauren could. Then he asked, "How are we going to fix the problem Lauren?"  

Lauren picked up the sponge and started wiping. After a couple of feet she exclaimed, "I'm tired!"  

"Sorry honey, you'll need to finish the job, " my husband told her. 

My husband walked with her around the car as she "fixed the problem"

I was happy to see that my daughter didn't lose it and neither did my husband. A potentially big problem was fixed with no drama. 

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Mommy Was Going Through a Phase

I haven't written in a while because frankly I felt my parenting skills were on the fritz. For the last month I have been irritable and distracted which you can imagine makes for an impatient mommy. I kept telling everyone that something was off with my daughter. She was more "crazy" that usual.

Well I took a step back. Where were my Love and Logic skills? What was my priority these days? I've been working on a project outside of my children and it was taking up more time than I expected. Okay, regroup. I reviewed with myself, "Was I putting my kids first?" Also, "Was I treating my kids with respect?"

As you can guess, I wasn't. First off, I needed to give my daughter and son my undivided attention for some part of the day. Okay, check. Next, I needed to treat my kids with the same respect that I wanted them to show me.

One thing that I have always been frustrated with as an adult is how sometimes other adults talk down to me in conversation. Why do they do that? It doesn't make for good relationships and it puts the recipient lower on the totem pole. Perhaps that was how their parents talked to them all of the years they lived at home. I can only hope that my daughter will talk to her elders AND friends AND perhaps younger people or people she mentors with love and respect.

I was also listening to Crazy Love on audio by Francis Chan. The author told the story of how his father rarely showed him affection, maybe hugged him once, but was very willing to lay down the rules and give discipline. He said he walked around the house in fear that he was going to get yelled at by his dad. Although sad the day his dad died, he was slightly relieved. He no longer had to tiptoe. He said his dad taught him fear and respect for authority, but as he developed his relationship with God he was more fearful of God than anything. When he let go of that fear and saw God as a loving, accepting God, his relationship with Christ developed.  Big stuff! Big legacy! 

So what did I decide to do? Role model, be a consultant and show my daughter some loving respect. Does that mean I let her get away with everything? Absolutely not!  However, when I'm asking her to stop asking the same question over and over again, I can politely ask her to find something else to do. Or, really stop and listen to what she is saying. I know I would be all ears for a good friend that stopped by for coffee. My daughter deserves the same.

Well I have to say, I feel like I'm getting back on track with my parenting. My daughter and I are working great together with smiles and lots of love.