Mommy Was Going Through a Phase

I haven't written in a while because frankly I felt my parenting skills were on the fritz. For the last month I have been irritable and distracted which you can imagine makes for an impatient mommy. I kept telling everyone that something was off with my daughter. She was more "crazy" that usual.

Well I took a step back. Where were my Love and Logic skills? What was my priority these days? I've been working on a project outside of my children and it was taking up more time than I expected. Okay, regroup. I reviewed with myself, "Was I putting my kids first?" Also, "Was I treating my kids with respect?"

As you can guess, I wasn't. First off, I needed to give my daughter and son my undivided attention for some part of the day. Okay, check. Next, I needed to treat my kids with the same respect that I wanted them to show me.

One thing that I have always been frustrated with as an adult is how sometimes other adults talk down to me in conversation. Why do they do that? It doesn't make for good relationships and it puts the recipient lower on the totem pole. Perhaps that was how their parents talked to them all of the years they lived at home. I can only hope that my daughter will talk to her elders AND friends AND perhaps younger people or people she mentors with love and respect.

I was also listening to Crazy Love on audio by Francis Chan. The author told the story of how his father rarely showed him affection, maybe hugged him once, but was very willing to lay down the rules and give discipline. He said he walked around the house in fear that he was going to get yelled at by his dad. Although sad the day his dad died, he was slightly relieved. He no longer had to tiptoe. He said his dad taught him fear and respect for authority, but as he developed his relationship with God he was more fearful of God than anything. When he let go of that fear and saw God as a loving, accepting God, his relationship with Christ developed.  Big stuff! Big legacy! 

So what did I decide to do? Role model, be a consultant and show my daughter some loving respect. Does that mean I let her get away with everything? Absolutely not!  However, when I'm asking her to stop asking the same question over and over again, I can politely ask her to find something else to do. Or, really stop and listen to what she is saying. I know I would be all ears for a good friend that stopped by for coffee. My daughter deserves the same.

Well I have to say, I feel like I'm getting back on track with my parenting. My daughter and I are working great together with smiles and lots of love.